Carnage

Haven't felt like blogging lately.  The last post was right after we found out that we were losing our sweet Tipsy and a week later we had to put her to sleep.  The cancer was so aggressive and we didn't want her to be in anymore pain.  It's the hardest decision I've ever made in my life, but I know it was the right thing to do; the humane thing to do. 

It's almost been a month and I still choke up at the thought of her and I still catch myself looking for her when I come home or when I wake up in the morning.  I'll spare everyone the details for your sake and mine.  But I will do a post about how we talked to Evelyn about it and prepared her.  By all accounts it went very well.  But oh goodness the things she has said to her friends about it......I'm surprised I haven't gotten phone calls from parents.

Anyway - as I've been saying I have been a painting and project machine lately.  Which is why I haven't gotten around to posting as much.  Again, my sincerest apologies.  I've decided that I'm doing a blog every Thursday until I get back in the swing of things.  Today you'll get a few snippets of different things I've been up to.  But it's not quite time for the big reveals yet. 

Not that many posts ago, but like forever ago I got a new toy cabinet for the den and did a post about it (here).  Like two days later I switched out the hardware and never gave yall an update.  So here it is!

 

 

 

 I'm still not married to the accessories on top.  But we moved the Every Little Thing painting over it and I think it's going to stay.  We tried a lot of different pieces and it works the best.  It's also in a better spot there than over the stairs so I can see my mantra throughout the day and practice my 5 deep breaths.  Did I mention E just got over a 2 week Terrible Threes extravaganza?! 

 

Ev went to Razorback Dance Camp at her dance studio this morning and was done at 10:30.  We had lunch with Daddy right after and ran errands and got home by 12:30 so we had all afternoon to do projects - right?  WRONG. 

 

We got an adorable little wickery - very sturdy table at my favorite antique mall that I originally was going to put in the dining room, but then moved out to the newly painted entryway.  Newly painted, by this gal.  Did I mention it's the second time I've painted it in a year and a half?  This time I like the color so it won't be changing. 

 

Anyway, E's dance studio is next to Hobby Lobby (which I hadn't been to in a month!) and I ran there to grab some new pulls to replace the boring little wood ones that came with the table.  I got a few options and tried them out on the first drawer.  I narrowed it to two selections so I wanted to put one in one drawer and one in the other........yea, the nightmare ensues from there. 

 

The screw on the right drawer was totally stripped.  So after thirty minutes of trying every screwdriver we owned (literally), and the rubber band trick (which btw - never works.  I've tried it three times now) I start to get a little heated.  So I start whacking this knob with a hammer trying to get it to just break off.  Then I'm all "Whoa lady, hold your horses.  You might damage the drawer front."  Then I was like "You're right conscience.  I should be more careful.  Let's think for a minute.........Booya - I've got a Dremmel and have never used it." 

 

So after another thirty minutes of reading directions and figuring out which head to put on the Dremmel, I get going.  Long story short - shards of wood are flying everywhere, as well as sparks as I'm trying to saw through this knob to rip if off.  So it smells like burnt wood and I'm freaking out because I'm worried I'm going to catch the house on fire.  Hindsight taught me I should be doing this project outside and not on my wood floor in the entryway.  I finally am able to break this thing off in pieces and manage to get it off.  It seriously took 2 hours.  And of course, Evelyn wanted to help and kept giving me hugs of encouragement.  We did manage a picture of excitement over busting out the Dremmel for the first time.

 

 

 

 

 

So here's the hardware I'm picking between.

 

 

Yes, the ones on the right are the same as the toy cabinet in the den.  I like both - I think I'd like the left better if the rings were shinier like the one on the right. 

 

 

So there's the new wall color - Lenox Tan by Benjamin Moore.  It's also going up in the bathroom on the left there which you can totally see half painted walls.  I love my little Foo Dog I got at TJ Maxx and the gold frame came from Target.  I'm pretty married to those but not the Tuscan vase underneath.  That's more for size reference for me to order something from Z Gallerie. 

 

What's that?  You love that wall art above the table?  Don't get me started.  I'm obsessed with it!  I stare at it for at least 10 minutes everyday and sigh with love.  I'd been eyeing that piece for awhile on One Kings Lane.  I finally pulled the trigger and couldn't be happier with it.  I first saw it at Horchow for $500 bucks and got it at OKL for $129.  Love, love, love it.  I only decided to buy after I painted the living room a certain color - which is being kept TOP SECRET until I'm ready to reveal it to you guys.  But I will say it's everyone's favorite room in my house.  I've been on the hunt for chairs and can't find anything I like yet.  After I get those I'll give ya a sneak peek. 

 

I'll finish this post off with some pics of the actual carnage from my dealings with the original door knob.  Remember to follow me on Pinterest to see updates of things I'm currently working on!

 

 

Note that over to the right is the knob from the left drawer - still intact.  All those other bajillion pieces are from the other knob.

 

 

 

RIP Sweet Tipsy Lou.  Thanks for the memories. You won't be forgotten.

This was right after Evelyn's first birthday party ended.  She was completely wiped out after having 40 some odd people at our house to show off our 1 year old.

A 31 Year Old Who Just Got Contacts for the First Time Walks Into a Bar........

I'm that 31 year old.  I didn't get glasses until January of 2008 when Joe and I moved to Dallas.  I honestly didn't realize I had a problem with my vision until we were in the process of moving to Dallas and I noticed I couldn't read any of the street signs and therefore had NO clue where I was going.  That British lady on my navigation system and I were tight for awhile.

After 5 years and having a kid who just loves putting her grubby fingers on my specs, I talked myself into getting contacts and giving them a try.  I stayed away from them for years as I have astigmatism and sometimes it's not the best option for people with my eyeball disability.

Long story short - I get contacts.  The tech at my doctors office was really good at telling me how to put them in and take them out and not to wear them in water.  But there are a few things I was not informed about that I learned really fast:

With astigmatism, your contacts pop out really easily because of the shape of your eyeball.  I have terrible allergies and tend to rub my eyes a lot....no more.

Make sure you put your contacts in BEFORE you put on makeup.  Rookie mistake.  Mascara was EVERYWHERE.  EVERYWHERE - looked like a oil spill in my eyes and all over my face.

Don't forget to take them out before bathing/showering.  If Joe had a dollar for everytime I've had to call for him to come get a contact that fell out while I was getting so fresh and so clean clean - he'd be $5 richer.  (Did I mention Baby Joe has been wearing contacts since he was like 13 and gave me no tips whatsoever?  He was suppose to be my Miagi on this thing!)

And here's the big one.  Don't cry with contacts in.  Between the extra moisture and the rubbing it's the Pandora's Box of not being able to keep those suckers in.

This is not a happy story and if you're looking for a pick me up - read no further.  This is a sad story with a not happy ending.

Another long story shortened a tiny bit, Tipsy (Joe's dog turned my dog) is dying.  She is 11 and has had a beautiful wonderful life full of leftovers and sharing a Temperpedic bed with us.

It started a few years ago with a lump that randomly showed up and just never really changed.  So we left it.  Around Christmas this past year it started to get bigger - about the size of a ping pong ball.  So in January we had it surgical removed.  We opted to not have it biopsied and tested for a few different reasons.  The main one being that we didn't want a timetable for how much longer she had.  Even then - Joe and I had a sense that it wasn't good.

Come April this year I'm putting Evelyn to bed one night and look down at Tipsy who was laying at my feet and she was laying just perfect enough to wear I could see another lump has appeared towards the bottom of the last incision site.  I watch it for a week and it just grows and grows.  We go to the vet and have it biopsied.  It's a low grade mast cell tumor.  Which is life expectancy meant if we do nothing - she has 2 years.  By this time the tumor is what I would categorize as "big".  So of course we decide to have it removed.  Mast cell tumors affect the histamines in the skin - much like a bee sting makes you swell.  So we put Tipsy on a high dosage on Benadryl daily hoping to make the tumor shrink so that it's easier to see it's margins during the surgery.  We go to Florida for a week and come back and it's pretty much doubled in size - which then causes problems for removal. 

We go see our local doctor who recommended to go see a specialist in Tulsa to give Tipsy the best chance possible.  So last Friday I load up the old girl in the car and start driving to Tulsa.  And I am tearing up the entire time and quietly sobbing b/c I don't want to upset the dog.  I get to Tulsa and failed to check the mirror before I went in because I was handed a tissue when I walked in the door to get cleaned up.  Another long story short (LSS), the surgeon was very confident he could remove the tumor without any problems and get the margins around it he needed, but first he wanted to do an abdominal ultrasound to make sure it hadn't metasticized.  So I leave Tipsy for surgery and completely lose it.  Big Time.  I cry so hard I give myself a crick in the neck (the type where you can't move your neck!).  I just didn't feel right about leaving her - something in my gut. 

I had the luxury of one of my roomates from college living in Tulsa so I headed to commiserate with her over lunch and catch up (she has a new baby - and I love me some babies!)  And the surgeon calls.  I knew the second it was the surgeon and not the tech that it wasn't good.  LSS - cancer has metasticized.  I could have gone on with the surgery and put her through chemo but that would only buy her 18 months.  So I ask "If we do nothing, how long does she have."  "3-6 months".  He said it back to me so quickly that I was startled and shocked and grieving immediately.  Did I mention I'm driving at the time on 71st?  So I pull over and just let it all out.  The surgeon was so understanding and comforting which kinda made it worse b/c I cried more because of that.  I managed to choke out that I was going to come get Tipsy and take her home and he agreed that was best.  So I'm in a parking lot losing it.  And the damn contacts aren't staying in which kinda makes me laugh/irate/more sad.  Luckily the admissions ladies provided me with ample amounts of tissues which was a lifesaver.

After a quick lunch with Steph I go pick my sweet Princess Tipsy up and we head back home.  And I keep it together pretty good.  Then the sad songs on the radio start and I cry the whole entire way home.  Again - not being able to see out of my right eye at all; not sure what was going on there.  When I get to the house I strip nude and climb in my bathtub thinking that will make everything better.  It didn't.  I just cried more and got too hot in there.  I did have the state of mind to take the contacts out by this time.  Joe and E came home and loved on me which helped but gosh darnit, I was just so sad.

I'm not a crier.  Joe worries because of my lack of emotion.  I've only cried at 3 movies ever:  The English Patient, Message in a Bottle, and Armageddon (my grandfather had just died and the scene was when Bruce puts Ben in the capsule so he will live).  So Joe didn't know what to do, I've only been Tipsy's Mom since she was 4 - but Joe raised her.  I feel like I didn't give him a chance to grieve b/c he was so worried about me. 

Saturday I totally cried in the shower and then got my sh** together and went on with my life.  It's what we have to do.  I'm a quick griever - always have been and I'm already in acceptance mode.  I ease the pain by sneaking Tipsy Oreo's and whatever else I'm eating.  Luckily Tipsy has no outward signs of pain, but I know that can change in an instant.  We're just trying to enjoy her while we can.

In other news - new furniture is being delivered tomorrow and I think I'm ready to debut the new den/kitchen area to yall.  I keep putting it off because it's not completely done.  But yall have waited like a year to see it and you deserve it.  I've been antiquing recently (muahahahaaa!!!) and have some new purchases to share.  And true to self, I started on the living room before I finished anything else in my house.  :)

I'll catch you up soon!  

Back in Business

Hello All!  I got more than just a few messages asking if everything was okay since I haven't posted since before Thanksgiving.  I am - everything is really great!

After Thanksgiving I got right into Christmas shopping and that kept me very busy.  That and all the Holiday parties and decorating and hosting and such.  Christmas Day early morning (3am - before Santa even visited) Evelyn woke me up with an RSV like cough.  We battled RSV 2 years ago when Ev, myself, and my Dad (who was visiting for my birthday) all caught it and it was horrible.  When I got upstairs Mom was already holding her and calming her coughing and crying.  It wasn't anything more than a sinus infection but that cough was SO awful.  Well, then i got it.  I wasn't quite myself even by New Years celebration time and I went to sleep while the other 5 adults in the house hung out til morning.

Fastforward a week and then E gets the flu.  So guess what?  I get the flu.  And like a dummy I was all "I don't need a flu shot - they don't do anything anyway - blah blah blah I'mAnIdiot".  I at one point thought I might be dying.  I'm not kidding.  I talked to another friend from high school whose daughter is in E's ballet class and HE also said he thought he was going to die.  On top of the flu I got a sinus infection and then an ear infection.  Seriously.  I couldn't even touch my ear.  IT WAS HORRIBLE.  I have never been that sick and I was in bed for a week.  E got shipped off to the grandparents for 4 days so she wouldn't catch anything.  Because of the ear infection I couldn't hear anything from my left ear and it is still clogged.  So on my birthday we are at La Huerta and I'm sitting on the end with everyone to my left. Add free tequila shots and margaritas to that and I spent the evening saying "HUH?" to everyone. 

I've been back on my feet for 3 weeks now and doing well.  Gotten tons of projects done since I become a hermit that doesn't leave the house in winter b/c I hate the cold.  A lot of peeps I've talked to have been having problems with loading pics in blogger - which is why E's birthday party pics never got finished.  I'll work on wrapping that post up today, loves.

Expect big things coming soon!  Besos.  *sigh.  It feels good to be back!

The Philippines!

I'm BAAAA-aaaacccccckkkkkkkk.

I know.  I know.  It's been awhile.  Exactly a month since I returned from the Philippines.  I should have posted sooner because I did get some concerned emails about if we were okay after the earthquake hit over there - we are.

I was packing for the airport when the earthquake hit and Joe was in the shower.  I sat there for a minute and thought to myself "is this really happening?" and then I hear Joe from the bathroom say "Beeeeetttthhh?  What's happening?"

Beth - "We're having an earthquake." 

Joe - "How do you know?"

Beth - "Because it's an earthquake - I know what they feel like."  (See that post here).

Joe and I both got nauseous during the quake.  We were 18 stories up in a high rise and buildings in the Philippines are made to be earthquake resistent so they sway back and forth....a lot.  We were told on the ground they only felt it for 30 seconds and Joe and I both agreed we felt the building move for over a minute - closer to two.

So being American - we FREAK.  We were in a tall building on the side of a mountain (landslides are common there). We start throwing all our stuff into our suitcases and we are out of that building within 5 minutes.  Our driver was already there - even though we were leaving for the airport 2 hours earlier than we needed to. Our driver, Michael, kept telling us that it was okay - they don't have tsunami's in Cebu.  But the only thing we could understand on the car's radio was "Tsunami Warning Level 3" - FREAK OUT.  Once we got to the airport and found a computer with CNN.com in English we calmed down a bit.  Since Cebu is between other larger islands there is never a threat for a tsunami. 

Thank you everyone so much for thinking of us - that was so sweet we were on your mind.  In return I give you the best of our Philippines trip - Enjoy!  Make sure you check out the jellyfish story at the end.

 

 

This is from our first full day - we visited Tagatay which is more of a resort area or weekend getaway.  We are standing in front of the world's smallest volcano!

 

 The volcano is right in the middle of the pic below

 

Pineapple plantation!

Mavs fans are everywhere

Myself and Michael, our driver, after delivering me safely to the Cebu Int'l Airport

 

In Joe's Dad's apartment about to devour some Jollibee.  Jollibee is on almost every corner in every city.  It's their McDonalds.  They have McDonalds too - and KFC and Pizza Hut, but no Taco Bell :(.

 

So, the people of the Philippines are obsessed with fried chicken.  It's "A Thing" over there.  The main menu items at all the restaurants are fried chicken and spaghetti.  Obviously these are not native foods to the country, but the population Loves it.  The chicken is very good - very similar to how it is in America.  The spaghetti is very different, but good. 

Joe and I snuggling on the beach in Boracay.  BEAUTIFUL!

 

 We have fun wherever we go...

Last but not least....Joe and I went scuba diving one day.  The first dive went great.  Saw lots of beautiful coral and different types of fish than what we are use to seeing in the Caribbean.  Second dive was going great too - we got to feed the fish underwater (never done that before) - having a great time....and then my knees start itching uncontrollably.  Then they burn - so I scratch them. 

We start to ascend to do our decompression stop and Joe signals that he's in trouble. So our dive master goes up and waves the boat over and then we all go up.  Long story short, I got stung by a jellyfish and then kicked it and propelled it straight into Joe's face - he was following me. 

So here is my damage:

 

And here is Joe's:

 

 

Not to mention we pulled a tentacle off his lip and his top lip was so red and swollen - we didn't discover that until about 20 minutes after we got out of the water. 

I leave you with this picture - which will make you smile.  Shhhhhh...I know.  I rock that wetsuit and gear.

 

I'm Tripping.

I've been MIA and I know it.  But if you missed me the past 2 weeks, this will be your only post for the next 2.

Joe and I are taking an adults only trip to the Philippines.  Random, I know. 

Joe's dad has lived over there for about 3 years now and we're thinking he'll be done with his job there come December.  Because of lack of our own funds, we decided to go over there and check out Manny Paquaio's homeland.

The flights are no bueno.  We are flying from here to Dallas (45 min flight), then fly Dallas to Seoul, Korea (no joke - 14 hours), then Seoul to Manilla (4 hours).  I just got done downloading some new books to the Kindle to help me through the flights (that and Xanax).

We arrive in Manilla around 10pm at night their time.  So I plan on just going to bed (did I mention I don't sleep on planes?)  The first day we are visiting the Taal Volcano and probably just hanging around the neighborhood we are staying in which is Makati.  Apparently there is a HUGE mall next door (yay!)

After that we fly to Cebu which is where Joe's dad actually lives.  We spend 2 days there I think and we'll probably take a day trip over to the island of Bohol.  Then we fly to Boracay for our beach vacation part of the trip for 3 days.  Then back to Cebu for a day and a half and then we fly home.  Kinda gonna be a whirlwind.

At first I was SO gung ho about going.  I was all "This is great! It'll be like old times before E was born when we use to travel a bunch and have adventures." And now I'm like biting my fingernails nervous about leaving Ev for that long and I'm Really not looking forward to the flights, but I am getting excited for the trip. 

It's gonna be great for Joe and I to have some alone time too and just have fun and do what we want to do and eat what we want to eat and not worry about a babysitter. 

I'll have a lot of catching up to do when I return-I got lots of projects done this week. Until then, Ciao!

Arkansas Anniversary and Gold Leaf Frame Magic

I cannot believe that tomorrow marks Evelyn's and my 1 year anniversary of our move to Arkansas (Joe moved earlier than us because of work).  It seems like just yesterday I watched the crew load our stuff in the van and having my last farewell lunch with Courtney and then hitting the road.  I still find myself saying "We just moved from Dallas" all the time when conversing with people - but a whole year?!

And what a year it's been.  I moved here with the intention that after a week we'd move into a house in Rogers.  The day before close, the owner's decided to not sell the house.  Turns out they were getting divorced and were filing bankruptcy and didn't disclose any of that to their realtor.  What a nightmare.  But things happen for a reason.  Within a week we put an offer in on the house we have now made a home.  It took a few months for me to get emotionally attached to this house, but I now have a love for it just like a member of the family. 

In my last few hours of being in our house in Dallas (don't worry, E was not present), I laid down on the floor with my arms spread wide and BALLED my eyes out and attempted to "hug" the house.  I was SO in love with our house there.  It was the first house I had ever owned.  It was the house we came home to after we got married.  It was the house Evelyn took her first steps in.  We spent a lot of time and money doing upgrades to that home. I never imagined I would feel that way again, but alas I do.  This new house will be where we will celebrate many birthdays and anniversarys in; Evelyn will have many firsts in this home; our other children will have their first steps here.  There is so much potential and endless possibilities for us here in this home and I can't wait to make more memories.

So thank you all my readers for sticking with me during our new journey as I get settled and decorate our home.  It's been an adjustment not going outside the home to a job but making this house and family my full time job.  I'm so lucky for all I have - I really have everything I wanted.  Except world peace and a cure for cancer and a Maserati. 

Enough with the emotional outpouring and here is a 30 minute craft I did today. 

I cannot say enough about the Krylon 18 kt. Gold Leaf paint pen (see other post about it here).  I went and bought another one this morning because I know that first one is gonna run out quick. 

I've had this frame I bought at an antique mall since December.  It's rattan with a glaze on top of it and is it's natural color.  I know I want it in the dining room, but had to figure out how to make it more me.  I've been watching Design Star and decided I want to be more "Vintage Glam Chic" like Mikel instead of my usual vintage chic.  According to Hilari (also on Design Star who is a Dallas based designer) you can glam it up with gold.  I hear ya girl - so I did what you said.

My magic wand

This mini-project took about 30 minutes.  I worked the frame a quarter at a time and let it dry a few minutes before moving to the next quarter.  Definitely drab to fab in 30 minutes flat. 

I'm flying to Houston tomorrow for girls' weekend in Rita's town.  But I already have the post for Monday figured out - tune in then!

Field of Flags

I might have mentioned that before (i.e. flag drapped over my shoulders during the Olympics).  I grew up in Fort Smith, AR.  "Fort" being a civil war army fort.  Then in later years they developed Fort Chaffee which is a huge Army base where they do training year round.  My dad was in the army during the Vietnam War and then moved into goverment service as an FBI agent.  It would be an understatement to say I grew up in a patriotic enviroment. 

I cry everytime I hear the words to "God Bless the USA" - and I am not a crier.  The old myth behind the song is that Lee Greenwood actually wrote and performed it for the first time IN Fort Smith.  Whether this is true or not - who knows.  I googled, but couldn't find anything.  So I'll choose to believe it. 

This past weekend, Joe and I drove to Granbury, TX (southwest of Fort Worth) for one of his college roomate's weddings.  The wedding took place at the OW Ranch outside of town and was a gorgeous spot.  When we were driving into Granbury we were taken aback with a field of American flags on the side of the highway.  It was, for lack of a better word, beautiful.  It was almost hypnotic with all those stripes flapping in the wind as we drove by. 

On Saturday we ventured to the "Field of Flags" with our friends Todd and Jackie.  I was cursing myself in my head for not bringing "the big camera" to document the site.  After approaching the flags I noticed a tag hanging on the pole.  Each flag was representative of a service person from Granbury who passed away while in service. It was such a beautiful memorial and really made me think about the true meaning of Memorial Day.  I usually think of it as a day off from work to BBQ and hit the lake, but it really is so much more.  We have so much to be thankful and proud for as Americans and that is all owed to people that stood up and fought for our country.  

The minute we got home from Texas I retrieved our American Flag and hung it proudly on the front of our house.  That's the first time I've hung it since moving back to Arkansas.  Now I want it to be more of a permanent fixture. I included all the pics I took - I hope you enjoy! 

    

I couldn't get all the flags in the frame to show the scale of the "field".

"And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me and I proudly stand up next to you and defend her still today. Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land. God Bless the U.S.A." 

The Happy Homemaker???

We are on day three of constant drizzling/storming/raining.  Evelyn and I had cabin fever so we ran some errands this morning to my imperial shopping triad (Target, Joann, and Hobby Lobby).  I have a bunch of projects in motion and just can't seem to finish them up:  Can't find enough black upholstery nails to finish my second covered corkboard, can't find hooks I like for the curtain tiebacks in the dining room, and to be honest - I'm kinda being lazy with the other stuff. 

As a result, this has left me with a lot of time to think (DANGER!).  In Dallas over the weekend, I was asked what I do for a living.  So I explained I use to be an accountant and I recently retired when we moved blah, blah, blah.  And then I got the "So....You're a homemaker?"  Nails on a chalkboard.  How Awful is that title?  I don't get it so I looked up the definition...

Home-mak-er (noun) - A person, esp. a housewife, who manages a home.  Synonyms are housewife and hostess.  source: Google

Didn't like that one.

thefreedictionary.com offered up this one - One who manages a household, especially as one's main daily activity.

Not as offensive, but NO.

Merriam-Webster - One who manages a household especially as a wife and mother.

Better still, but NO!  I heard there is a movement to have the title changed to House Manager. That seems more professional and prestigous.....and still lame.

I get it.  It's what we do.  Except it's so much more than that!!!  I don't think the title of homemaker or house manager encompasses all that I do.  I'm also a stay-at-home mom (SHM) too.  You can be a homemaker without having kids, and I'm pretty sure I know some SHMs that just pay other people to cook and clean for them.  I also know some "SHMs" that have nannies.  Perhaps some consider that "managing" but I think of it as "supervising."  Jeez Louise, now I've just created a homemaker totem pole.  "I'm only a house manager now, but my dream is to someday be a house supervisor". Cringe.

By now, I'm sure a lot of you have figured me out and realize this pent up aggression is totally aimed at my husband.  Here's my beef with him.....

I feel totally underappreciated for what I go through here at home during a normal day.  It's been 9 months now and I still get "What did you do all day?" at least once a week.  That's when I just about turn into Medusa and have flames shoot out of my eyes at him.  The question should be "What didn't you do today?"  Because I wake up, get E up, get us both breakfast, let the dogs out, feed the dogs, let the dogs in, unload the dishwasher, clean as much as I can in between letting the dang dogs in and out and running to the potty with E every 10 minutes because she thinks she has to potty; in the meantime Tipsy has jumped on the table and eaten our breakfast so I have to put her outside and deal with Wookie crying for her while I make 2nd breakfast.  And that's how life is before 9am for me.

I've found myself trying to get validation from Joe by texting him what I've done throughout the day.  It makes me feel better but just gets on his nerves that I'm texting all the time and he's trying to work.  Sometimes I consider making a list of what I do - or maybe a timesheet so he sees how my days fill up.   

And I love my life!  Some days are harder than others - but since "retiring" I haven't missed working one single day.  When I think back to the way life use to be I don't know how Joe and I did it.  Everyday after work I ran little errands - sometimes Joe did too.  Then Saturdays we would get up and run errands together with E until early afternoon.  Then we'd relax and Sunday we'd clean, do home improvements and get life in order for the next week.  It left us with very little quality time with each other.

Now that I'm staying at home - it's twice the work because I don't have Joe helping me with errands, finances, or managing the house.  I handle all that stuff now and it can really suck up the hours of a day.  Most days a week I look at the clock and think "How is it noon already?! I haven't gotten anything done", yet I haven't sat down since I woke up.  It can get ridiculous.  But when Joe comes home from work now, it's all about family and we play and hang out together and the quality of our life is just fantastic.

Maybe the validation I'm seeking could be monetary.  I think I read once that for the amount of work a House Manager does, she/he (I'm not being sexist) should get paid like $75K a year.  HAH!  I wish.  Although again, I can't complain because I get to watch Evelyn grow up every day and do crafts and blog and chat with friends; which I couldn't have done if we still lived in Dallas. 

So I ask you, my public, for help with what my title should be.  I'm looking for something that is all encompassing of what I do. Something I can put on my contact cards to hand out to people. Here's what I'm thinking so far:

Executive Director of the "E" Household Operations and Child & Pet Rearing

• Accomplished Multi-tasker
• Bilingual in Spanish and Baby
• World Class Chef
• Cleaning Services Available
• Blogs during free time

Please help me before I drive myself nuts obsessing!!

Earrings giveaway (enter here) ends tomorrow (Thursday) at midnight.  Be sure to enter!

High Waisted Jeans are a Mom's Best Friend.....Until the Zipper Rips Out of Them

Today, I knowledge share....

In this post here I told you how I was on the search for some new jeans.  This was a result of the crotch of my last fitting pair of jeans ripping out (after 2 years of use).  I got that pair at Banana and then posted how to hem them and I'm currently typing this post with them on.  I love them; super comfy and stretchy

I scoured the Banana Republic website hoping to find more jeans just like them - but to no avail.  So back I went to the Gap.  (Is it Gap or The Gap?  The sign says Gap, but I feel like they've always been referred to as The Gap.  Did the branding change?)  Anyway, at the Gap I bought a pair of Long and Leans and a pair of the Curvy Skinny fit.  I heart Gap because they offer Tall, Regular, and Ankle length inseams.  GBG.  God Bless Gap.  While I use to be a regular length kind of girl because I was always wearing heels; now I'm a mom that is usually in flats or Crocs (GBC) and hate when the bottoms of jeans get torn up from stepping on them. 

The Curvy Skinny was just what I needed to wear with boots and I might go get a pair of the bootcut Curvy as well. 

I was super happy with the Long and Leans which have a trouser look to them and the first time I put them on I had a hard time taking them off for 2 days.  I washed them (inside out, with vinegar) and then hung them to dry.  Put them on the second time and zipped up and heard a rip.  I check the crotch - nope, still intact.  So I shrug my shoulders and went on with my day. 

Fast forward a few hours later I'm an hour south visiting my parents for the Dad 70th birthday and I hit the potty.  I stand up after business time, and go to zip and my hand ends up in my panties.  This is because the zipper had completely ripped out of the seam.  Anger and Sadness follow, and then Acceptance.

Fast forward a few days later (yesterday).  So I go into Gap with my jeans and talk to the manager (I'm assuming he was the floor manager at the time).  This is how it went:

Manager:  Welcome to the Gap. Can I help you today?

Sidenote:  If a movie was made about my life, the Manager would be played by Lloyd from Entourage, but skinnier, bitchier and a tad younger.  That should help you get a better picture of what I was dealing with.

Me:  Yes, I bought a pair of Long and Leans a few weeks ago and the second time I wore them the zipper ripped out.  If you look at the seam it looks like part of the zipper was never sewn in correctly.

Manager:  Well, did you wash them?

Me:  Yes. Once.  I washed them inside out and then hung them to dry exactly how the instructions say.

Manager:  Well, our policy is to not let you return anything after you wash it. *He said this head shake while the head was cocked to the side and he made a sad face after. 

Me:  Well, I'm pretty sure me washing the jeans had nothing to do with the zipper coming out of it....

Manager then eyerolls toward the other employee.  Which made me almost pull my "I need to speak to the Manager or someone higher ranked than you" default statement when I get annoyed. 

Manager:  I'm sorry.  That's our policy and there's nothing we can do.

My face turns red and fire comes out of my pupils.  Then I speak.

Me:  No, I'm the one that's sorry for paying $65 for a brand of jeans that I thought was a brand associated with quality.  I could have just lied to you and said I hadn't washed them, but that's not how I roll.  Now, I'm pretty sure that Customer Service would agree that this is a MANUFACTURING DEFECT -

The words "Manufacturing De" were barely out of my mouth before he snapped to attention and started walking toward the register.

Manager: So do you want a full refund?

Me:  Um, no. I want another pair of jeans exactly like these.

He went and got them and pulled up the receipt they had emailed me when I purchased the jeans.  Isn't that crazy they email receipts now?  Pretty handy for peeps like me that toss them when they get them usually. 

Anyway, I walked out of the store with calls of "Have a nice day!" and "Come back and see us" and a new pair of size 8 ankle length jeans in hand.

Manufacturing Defect is a term I actually learned at Banana Republic about 4 years ago when I had just bought a new top and Joe noticed that I had holes in both the armpits the second time I wore it.  I took the top back to Banana and some college age associate told me I couldn't return it without a receipt because - and I quote - "How do we know you bought it here?"  Well, genius, the tag in shirt says Banana Republic so that's a clue I actually DID buy it here.  I avoided that convo though and just asked for the manager who was as surprised as I was. 

She explained that this was a Manufacturing Defect and she would fully refund me or let me exchange it.  I exchanged it for a different shirt - but since I didn't have a receipt, listen to what they did.  They took my credit card (the one I bought the original shirt with) and scanned it and they were able to find my purchase history in their system with it!  Um, privacy protection please America?

Anyway, if something like this ever happens to you with a newly purchased item.  Take it back and say MANUFACTURING DEFECT and if they are all "you need a receipt to blah blah blah" be all like "can't you just run my credit card like they do at Banana and find the purchase history?"  BAM! Take that Retail Companies!!!

Sidenote:  I also bought a pair of Modern Fit bootcut jeans at Ann Taylor Loft and love them too.  I'm really into these higher waisted stretchy fabric jeans, and I love the price too!  Gone are the days of my 7's, Joe's, James', and Citizen's. 

Long gone are the days are making the signs of the cross with my fingers at high waisted jeans.  Us mommies know you need the extra help to keep the flab tucked in.  I remember 10 years ago jean shopping and actually thinking and saying "These are low waisted enough."  What was I thinking?!!!

I THINK I'm a Skinny Bitch

Happy Valentine's Day!  I hope everyone has a wonderful day whether it be full of big celebrations or small.  Evie and I are picking up Joe from work to have a lunch date and then we are baking him some sugar cookies that we will decorate all together later tonight.  Not sure what we will do for dinner - maybe make pizza together?  We usually don't do gifts except for E.  Last year our gift to each other was a Blu-Ray player.  This year I guess we'll say we got each other curtains for the den. 

Since today is a day that is celebrated with chocolates and sweets I thought I would update you with how my weight loss/getting in shape New Years resolution is going. 

Tuesday is my weigh-in day each week.  I chose Tuesdays because that gives me a day after the weekends to drink 8 gallons of water and flush all the sodium and bad stuff out of my body as well as eat the healthiest and tiniest meals of the week so I can feel my thinnest when I step on the scale Tuesday morning.
Step on the scale time is right after I wake up, but not until after the morning pee break.  I never eat before the weigh in because I totally count ounces as well as pounds.  As of this morning, I have lost a total of 5 lbs exactly (not rounding up the ounces)!  Yay me!!  I know that's not much, but it's something AND that's 5 lbs of loss with an entire birthday celebration week and not working out at all the past 3 weeks because all 3 of us household members have colds we can't get rid of.  Looks like Joe and E's have finally cleared up so I have a few more days of ab workout quality coughing left.

Now I don't know about you, but after 5 lbs. of weight loss I am feeling pretty sassy.  Everytime I put on my clothes I look in the mirror and think - or maybe say aloud - "Girl, you are looking good.  Look at that!  Those skinny jeans just buttoned without having to lay on the bed and suck in to pull up the zipper"  I also find myself strutting around in my underwear more often and using my peripheral vision as I walk past my full wall of mirrors in the bathroom to gaze upon myself.  "That's right cellulite, you better be scared.  Momma's getting skinny. That booty is definitely lifting."

So now I just have 5 more pounds to lose to get back to pre-move to Arkansas weight which is the weight I maintained since deflating post-pregnancy.  I'd like to lose a few more past that and get back to wedding weight........we'll see how that works out for me.

For those of you who have had kids (and a warning for you that haven't), do you now carry your weight differently?  Even before the Arkansas move weight gain, I wore a smaller size pant than I did before pregnancy, yet I am carrying all my weight from my hips to my knee and I weigh more.  Gravity took all the fat cells in my body and sucked it down to my thighs, booty and hips and it just all stayed there.  It's the weirdest thing!!  Also, when I was at wedding weight. I wore the same size I did in high school - yet I weighed 10 pounds more than I did back in the 90s!  Body's are so weird.  I'm not sure how it's all possible but it is. 

Alas, I must persevere!  I didn't gain any weight until month 4 of Evelyn's pregnancy - and then I gained 55 lbs. but that's besides the point - but I think being in the best shape of my life beforehand really helped me lose the weight after and kept the weight off the first few months.  Hopefully that will be the case with #2 as well. 

Have a wonderful day doing something memorable with the ones you love.  X's and O's to you all!  I haven't done a recipe in awhile.  Any requests?  Sweet or savory?

Big Girl Panties

Lil E and I were checking out at a retail store the other day, and the lady helping us asked E her name.  "I Evelyn", she replied so proud from her stroller.  Being the doting (showoff) mother I am I then asked "Evelyn, do you know what your full name is?" This is after an intense 2 weeks of explaining to her about last and middle names and trying to imbed in her memory her entire 11 syllable name.  My chest puffed up a bit when she said "Yes..." Pride was washing over me.  Here it was, my defining moment showing what a great stay-at-home mom I truly am. 

Look at me world, my 2 year knows her entire 11 syllable name!    What other 2 year old can do this?! Not little Jack Jones or sweet Kate Smith with their short names.  All that Nick Jr. I force her to watch while I craft and blog didn't fry her mind after all.

Then, Evelyn continued her answer with "...Baby Evelyn."  The nice lady and I got a good laugh from that.  How cute is she?! That was happiness I felt.  Next, about 2 seconds after E answered I felt an overwhelming sadness waft over me.  "But...she's not a baby anymore" I thought.  And she isn't.  She uses the potty by herself, she feeds the dogs by herself, and we now have intelligent conversations.  She's gone from my little sleeping, eating, pooping machine to an actual person.

  The poop machine days.  This pic taken on day 3 of life.  Back when she looked just like Joe. 

9 lbs., 10 ounces.  I know 5 month olds that don't weigh that much.  And Yes, I pushed her out.

I'm a big kid now.   

I could not be happier that she's a healthy, happy big girl now, and I love having a little helper that takes direction and wants to emulate my every move; I'm lamenting the loss of my baby girl.  When this child was born, she could not survive without my love, attention, and nuturing.  Now it's all "Stop, Momma!" and "I can do it myself".  It's very rewarding to see her turning into an inquisitive little human, but I'm going to have a pity party for a few days and miss my baby. 

So now that my baby is no longer a baby.  The redundant question I've been asked since E's birth of "When are you having another baby?" seems more reasonable now.  That's it! That's how I'll fix this feeling:  I'll get even more emotional and fat and then have to birth another 10 pound baby (I'm rounding up).  So I sidenote mention this to Joe in the middle of a conversation about our taxes.  Something like this....

Joe: Are we getting a refund this year?

Beth:  Surprisingly yes! I still have to figure out how to handle the moving expenses that were grossed up on your W2.  (Sorry readers, but this is how we actually talk to each other~Accountants married to accountants use the term "true-up" a lot too).  You know how we could get a bigger deduction in the future?

Joe:  How?

Beth:  Not waiting until Evelyn's in kindergarten to have another baby. (More kids=more dependent deductions). 

Awkward silence.

Pretty sure Joe is going "YIPPEEE!!!!! I LOVE BABIES!!!! GIVE ME MORE!!!" in his head.

Joe:  Okay.

And that was it.  My dropping a subtle hint to my husband.  Nothing else said about it.  Pretty sure we then watched The Biggest Loser while eating a ginormous bowl of ice cream.  So I thought our communication was done until his company filed the 10-Q.   Then, the next day I get this text:

Whoa Buddy!  T Your B's (tap your brakes).  I mentioned what I mentioned to get the thought out there and maybe get use to the idea.  I was fine having just one kid.  I'm an only child, my mom is an only child and many many of my friends are only children and we're all pretty awesome.  I pretty much had an anxiety attack for 15 minutes and then and answered his text with "Can we afford a baby right now?" No, we can't.  Actually we probably could, but it would be nice for money to not be tight for a little bit.  And who said anything about wanting a February/March baby?! 

He followed up my response with "I have some arguments for a Feb/Mar baby that we can discuss further tonight."  Yes, I know.  We actually talk to each other like this.  His argument is that with his work schedule (I don't see him for about a month and then he's home for 2 months), it would be "optimal" to have the baby right after Q1 close so he would be able to help out more before year end - which is when I don't see him for 2 months.  He did, however, remind me that since taking over his position he has "created many efficiencies and with the integration of their new reporting software he'll be able to work from home more."  I love it when he dirty talks. 

He then finished it with "But, I see the look on your face right now and I can tell you just aren't ready for another baby yet."  So considerate.  Instead of saying what I was really thinking and feeling I tried to be positive and said "You know, May is 4 months away.  Maybe by then I'll be ready." The man's eyes actually lit up.  He was probably daydreaming of dancing in the field at the beginning of The Sound of Music with the Mavericks and it raining Mike and Ikes.  Puppies and babies are this man's weakness.  But we already have 2 dogs so getting a puppy as a baby substitute is out.

As we told Evelyn to do just a few weeks ago, it's time to put on my big girl panties and get this house in order and get ready for another baby.  Yes, I have decided that there will be a #2.  1 was fine with me, but the happiness the mere thought of having more children brings to my hubby fills me with hope and joy as well.  I still have lots of questions though:

Will I love Evelyn less? Or does the love multiple?  (I can't imagine loving anything as much as I love E)

How will I do it? I can barely handle the one as it is AND I stay home with her. 

How do I make sure I split my time between the kids? I don't want Evie feeling left out or that Mommy loves the baby more.   

If it's a boy - what do I do with the penis?  It honestly freaks me out a bit.

I'm sure that I will figure all this stuff out in time, but some reassurance from the public would be helpful!  Thanks for listening.

My New Age Box

I ran to Target this morning to pick up a few things, and got one of those "You could win a $5,000 giftcard if you complete this online survey".  I've got nothing but time, so why not?  So I'm filling it out and it asks "Please click on the box below that best describes your age".  *Sigh.  As of last Wednesday, I have a new age box....30-34.  I am no longer a 'twenty-something', and now feel like I'm definitley not a semi-hot mom anymore.  But I'm really looking at this like 30 is the new 25 and I have had such a great first 30 years that I can't wait to see what happens in my next 10, 20, and 30 years. 

I tend to celebrate my birthDAY like it's a birthWEEK.  It started on Tuesday (my birthday eve) and I got my hair done, nails done, and had a jewelry party complete with cupcakes and ice cream.  Wednesday was the actual day - and since it's quarter end, Joe had to go to work.  But not before he brought me breakfast in bed and I received my much-asked-for-push-present/awesome wife gift of a right hand diamond eternity band.  My hubby is the greatest!  Then my parents arrived at 9:30 and I went and had what was the most amazing massage of my life for 90 minutes and then I was jello the rest of the day.  That night we had steaks and cake and it was wonderful. 

We wrapped up the week with my birthday party with friends on Saturday night, and it was a BLAST!! I haven't had so much fun socializing in quite awhile.  We left Lil E with her Granny and Grumpy and for the first time in a very long time Joe and I took a nap.  When we got up we cleaned and everyone came to the house for some pre-dinner drinks and then we taxi'd to La Huerta (best Mexican food ever) where we ate and drank and were quite merry.  Here some pics to prove it....

Myself and Baby Joe with a lime in my hand

From left (Brandy, Laura, Myself, and Joe) 

Fearing the third tequila shot

Greatest birthday ever.

It's been awhile since I posted and A LOT has happened and is also the reason I haven't posted much. 

I spent an INTENSE 5 days and got Evelyn potty trained!  It's so great - this is going to change my life.  We did the pants off and don't leave your house method and the first day was rough, but by about 5pm I could tell it was working and now she does panties all day and night no problem!  Yes, there has been an accident here and there, but it's totally worth it and wish I had done it months ago. 

I essentially decided when she was at school one day to research the heck out of potty training and really start implementing it the next day.  It's hard - I'll be first to admit it.  Potty training is by far the most frustrating thing I've ever been through, ever.  But to be free of diapers and wipes and pull ups (oh my!), it's heaven.  Although I now tote around a collapsable potty in my purse instead.  But we decorated it and it's great.  One tip that none of the things I read mentioned:  When using a public potty, be sure to cover up the sensors.  Evelyn was just about to go on the potty while at a restaurant and she leaned forward and set off the automatic flusher.....she levitated off the potty and a meltdown followed.  That probably set us back a day, but all is good now. 

A project around the house we did was paint the kitchen/den/eat-in kitchen area which is about 1/4th of the total downstairs square footage.  I'm always so optimistic and was all "Oh, I can totally do this in 2 days".  5 days later, and with Joe's help (I think he might have actual slowed me down) we finished and the room looks great.  I went through about 8 paint samples from Sherwin Williams and then gave up and went to Benjamin Moore where I had a direct hit with my first paint sample.  NEVER DOUBT BENJAMIN MOORE - I never will again.  That and they gave me my own set of paint samples :).  

Here is the color...

     Fresh Olive by Benjamin Moore 2149-30

It's a great neutral that is also a deep saturated color.  Joe and I both wanted something other than tan that would go good with everything and this looks great with yellow, orange, red, purple, turquoise, brown....it's exciting!  I also wanted something to go with the Collier Campbell Mercury peacock color fabric I got a few months ago (which I would use for window treatments). 

Now I'm on the search for a table for the eat-in kitchen area that seats 6.  I'm off to tend to Evelyn.  She has congestion and a cough and can't nap.  Poor baby!  I've got a fun post tomorrow about vintage brooches coming - see you then!

Looking Forward to 2012

It's almost 2012.  That means the flea marketing and "antiquing" is going to be superb this next week because people are getting rid of things to make room for new stuff they got for Christmas, as well as the tax conscious consumers are making donations before year end to claim charitable contributions on their taxes  (I did a tax internship).  I'm definitely going to hit a few places tomorrow and do some more on Monday, and if needed Wednesday.  I really don't need anything in particular.  Just want to see if their is something I can't live without.  I'd be happy to do some personal shopping if anybody wants me to keep an eye out for anything.  I'll charge a 10% finders fee (*wink). 

I suppose I'm looking forward to 2012 and to see what it brings.  2011 brought a lot of change to our family~including our big move back to Arkansas and my retirement.  The impending new year is making me think about my 2011 "resolutions" and how I never seem to accomplish them.  I had three:

1)  Get back in shape        FAIL
2)  Don't procrastinate about getting things done around the house     SEMI FAIL
3)  Stop making work my first priority and make my family #1         PASS

At least the most important one is the one I managed to accomplished.  And now that I'm no longer working I should be able to concentrate on getting 2011's #1 and #2 addressed.  So, the first actions I'm taking in order to ensure successful resolutions for the new year is getting them written down. The second step is that I'm going to add actions I'm going to take to get these goals accomplished.  So here they are:  My New Years Resolutions for 2012:

1)  Get back in shape by using our brand new treadmill for cardio, taking walks with Evelyn once the weather warms up, and using the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred (I've already done it a few times and it is a real a**-kicker), and eating a more balanced diet.

2) Stop procrastinating about getting things done around the house by making a list of items I need to paint, sew, purchase and make a schedule so that I clean a room each day instead of trying to clean the entire house at once. 

3) Make my blog my "job" - other than being a good mom and wife. 
   
Blog Goals for 2012:

• Reach 100 members
• Get 1,000 page views a month (right now I average about 400 a month)

That's really it.  I'm keeping it simple and trying not to make my expectations too high. 

But to reach my 3rd goal - I need your help!  Please tell me what you like and dislike about the blog or what you would like to see me blog about.  I welcome constructive criticism - I don't want a comment or email that says "I don't like your blog".  I'd rather have "I don't like your recipes" or "I don't like it when all you do is a complaining post" or perhaps "You are like, the most brillant craft idea stealer ever!".  I want to make my blog something you want to read and in order to do that - let me know what you like!

Promises to YOU, the readers!!!!

I love to read blogs.  I read a range of different types daily.  But I've noticed lately, to much chagrin, that some of the very popular ones have "sold out".  They are now getting sponsors and that requires them to post daily - and because of that, the quality of the postings has gone down.  This makes me so sad because I use to look forward to read their posts and now if I see a new post on my dashboard I think "oh great, is this one an actual post or just filler?"  I don't want to E3 Creations be like that.  So I promise never to post just to post; therefore I won't be posting everyday.  If I have tons to talk about and lots of ideas to share - I might post everyday one week.  But  I'm all about quality over quantity. 

2012 is going to ring in Beth's Favorite Things. That's right - I'm going to do giveaways of some of my favorite things! You will have to leave a comment to enter so if you are a dedicated reader but aren't "follower", you need to join and be a fan. Because I am not paid to blog - if you are interested in advertising please contact me ;) - the prizes won't be that great. But hopefully it will attracts more members. More members=my blog being more attractive to advertisers=bigger and better giveaways. Get it? Good.

So spread the word when I do a post you like - and comment, comment, comment!!!  Don't forget to write down your resolutions and put them someplace you are forced to look at them.  You are more apt to accomplish them if so.  Goodbye 2011, you were a better year than 2010 and brought me much happiness.  Here's looking forward to 2012 - a new year that is FULL of possibilities!  What will you do with this new year?

2011 is Going Out With a Bang

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!  Evelyn had a wonderful time this year and REALLY appreciates Santa now after he brought her a tricycle!  Santa, how did you know?! ;)  Pictures to come later....but first a totally true story. 

Today was not a good day: 

Episode One (insert Law & Order "dut dut" here)

4am:  Nope, not Evelyn related.  I start coughing......then I cough a little more...then I cough for 3 minutes straight.  So I try taking out my night guard (*insert your laughing here) because they tend to make you salivate more.  No help.  I try about 4 different sleeping positions - no help.  So I get a cherry flavored Halls and stick it between my cheek and teeth and that helps and I finally get to sleep probably around 5:15ish. 

Episode Two (DUT DUT)
7:30am:  I wake up because Joe is leaving for work and Evelyn is placed in bed with me.

8:00am: 
My thoughts:
1.  Oh crap, I fell asleep.
2.  Oh good, Evelyn is still watching Bubble Guppies in bed with me. 
3.  Oh crap, it's a school day and we are going to be late.
4.  I'll brush my teeth later.....................I did, I promise.

Everything went well between dropping off and going back home and picking up and then going to lunch with my friend Lauren.

Episode Three (DUT DUT)

I leave lunch with Lauren, get to the highway and get pulled over.  I assumed it was because I was speeding (which I do most of the time).  So I pull over and the officer asked if I knew why I had been pulled over.  So I of course said "No." Here's a quick recap of the rest of the conversation.

Officer:  Did you not see the huge semi truck you passed a minute ago?

Me:  What semi truck?  Did I pass it on the highway?

Officer:  No, you passed it before you got on the highway.

Me:  So, what's the problem?

Officer:  When you were turning right at the stop sign, he was turning right where you were.

Me:  Um, ok.  So we were both turning right...............I don't get it.

Officer:  (sigh)  The last stop sign you stopped at before you got on the highway...

Me:  Got that part.

Officer:  Okay, you turned right and then got on the highway.

Me:  Yep, got it.

Officer:  You turned right and almost got hit by a semi. 

Me:  Where?! (I turn to look back from whence I came)

Officer:  (laughing) You didn't even see him did you?

Me:  I guess not.  But I still don't understand, I think I would see a semi almost about to hit me.  So I was turning right, and he was turning right, but if he was turning right onto the street I was on, how did he almost hit me?

Officer:  Can I see your license, registration, and proof of insurance please?

I give the documentation to the officer and while he goes to his car to make sure I'm not a felon I draw a diagram of the intersection in question because I still don't understand what he's talking about.

(Officer walks back up to my window)
Officer:  Here is all your paperwork back.

Me:  Yea, I still don't get it - I drew this because I'm a visual learner, and I don't understand what I did wrong.

(The officer looks at my drawing)

Officer:  No no nono nononono.  The semi was in front of you. 

Me:  With all due respect, if a semi was in front of me, I would have seen it. 

Officer: (notably frustrated) *sigh.  Okay, the semi was in front of you, but because it's SO big, they have to make wide right turns (I nod and do my "mmhmm" noise).  So to make his wide right turn, he pulled into the LEFT LANE OF THE STREET YOU WERE ON.

Me:  Oh.  Is it legal for him to do that?

Officer:  What?

Me:  Pull into the left lane?  What if someone had taken a right turn onto our street just then?

Officer:  Ma'am, I'm going to let you off with a warning today for Improper Passing.  Please watch out for those semi's in the future.  Have a nice day.

He then practically runs away from my car to his.  What a waste of 15 minutes. 

Episode Four (DUT DUT)

3:00pm:  I decide today is begging for an accomplishment.  So I decide to finish up my Ikea Rast hack project.  So I change clothes, get everything all laid out and go to get the paint.  I go to the paint section of my garage and open the lid of the paint I'm going to use:  A gallon of Ralph Lauren silver paint.  Looking good.  Can't wait to use it and get this project done and I'm gonna feel so good and it's gonna turn my day arou......
My happy thoughts were cut off because I tripped and dropped the entire gallon of paint - keep in mind the lid is off - onto the floor, wall hangings, paintings, and other gallons of paint.  "OHHHH S&*T"

1st Thought: Get a hose and I'll hose everything off and kinda power wash the paint out onto the driveway.

2nd Thought:  That's stupid, you can't rinse cardboard boxes and paintings.  I'll wipe it up with paper towels.  Wait, there is just too much of it.  How can I contain it?!

3rd Thought:  I'll get a crappy plastic cup and scoop the paint into the cup and then take it into the house and rinse it down the drain. 

Yes ladies and gentlemen, that was the winning idea.  So I start to execute it and it is actually working pretty well.  I was shocked.  But there was just so much paint I was able to corral it into the cup pretty easily.  Guess I was so impressed I didn't think to TAKE OFF MY SHOES BEFORE I WENT IN THE HOUSE.  So now there is a trail to the kitchen sink and back that looks silver leafed. 

I finished off the garage clean up with paper towels and only a small of the garage looks silver leafed, and of course, my favorite painting needs some TLC touch up to remove the last of the paint from it.  (I'm hoping nail polish remover does the trick)


Episode Five (DUT DUT)

As I'm taking a carload of stuff to Goodwill, I get a text from Joe that Evelyn was bitten at school.  So I call....

Me:  So, where did she get bitten?

Joe:  Um.....well.....you really aren't going to like this.

Me:  So on the face

Joe:  Yup.

Me:  *enter cricket noise because I'm practicing my 5 deep breaths to calm down

On the face. THE FACE.  Some jealous child is trying to get some of Evelyn's cuteness a mouthful at a time.  Well, it'll take a whole lot of mouthfuls to take the cuteness out of my child. Next conversation between Joe and I....

Me:  Well, how bad is it?

Joe:  Welllllll.....it's aaaa.......I mean.......You can still see the teeth marks.

Therefore I attach Exhibit A below

The blue circle denotes the area of cuteness discussed previously.
The red circle denotes the area where the offense occurred. 

To be perfectly honest............I know it's not that bad.  Here is a pic of the first bite Evelyn came home with:

That was the worst one she's ever had - her first one from March 2010.  I totally cried and almost took her out of the daycare I was so upset.  Then the next week she bit somebody and I felt awful and got over it.

Poor E.  She's definitely been the victim more than the aggressor.  But I definitely would rather be the parent of the bitee than the biter.  You DO NOT want your kid to be the biter.  Through a lot of recon and powers of deduction, Candace and I figured out who the biter was at E's Dallas daycare.  Candace's daughter Rebekah goes to the same school E did and Rebekah was a recurring victim.  Let me tell you.........It's always the quiet ones. 

Anyway, the biting incident took me totally offguard because I thought a class of 2 year olds had outgrown the biting.  Joe asked what happened to make this other child bite Evelyn and he was told the other child was loving and hugging on Evelyn and then all of the sudden she bit her face!  Sociopath.


Episode Six (DUT DUT)
7:30 pm:  While crouching to hang up Joe's pants in the closet, the crotch of my only semi-still fitting pair of jeans rips.  Awesometown.


Episode Seven (DUT DUT)
9:50pm:  Mavs lose their fifth game in a row; tonight was the third game of the regular season. 

In conclusion, when it rains, it pours; but tomorrow is another day.