As a result, this has left me with a lot of time to think (DANGER!). In Dallas over the weekend, I was asked what I do for a living. So I explained I use to be an accountant and I recently retired when we moved blah, blah, blah. And then I got the "So....You're a homemaker?" Nails on a chalkboard. How Awful is that title? I don't get it so I looked up the definition...
Home-mak-er (noun) - A person, esp. a housewife, who manages a home. Synonyms are housewife and hostess. source: Google
Didn't like that one.
thefreedictionary.com offered up this one - One who manages a household, especially as one's main daily activity.
Not as offensive, but NO.
Merriam-Webster - One who manages a household especially as a wife and mother.
Better still, but NO! I heard there is a movement to have the title changed to House Manager. That seems more professional and prestigous.....and still lame.
I get it. It's what we do. Except it's so much more than that!!! I don't think the title of homemaker or house manager encompasses all that I do. I'm also a stay-at-home mom (SHM) too. You can be a homemaker without having kids, and I'm pretty sure I know some SHMs that just pay other people to cook and clean for them. I also know some "SHMs" that have nannies. Perhaps some consider that "managing" but I think of it as "supervising." Jeez Louise, now I've just created a homemaker totem pole. "I'm only a house manager now, but my dream is to someday be a house supervisor". Cringe.
By now, I'm sure a lot of you have figured me out and realize this pent up aggression is totally aimed at my husband. Here's my beef with him.....
I feel totally underappreciated for what I go through here at home during a normal day. It's been 9 months now and I still get "What did you do all day?" at least once a week. That's when I just about turn into Medusa and have flames shoot out of my eyes at him. The question should be "What didn't you do today?" Because I wake up, get E up, get us both breakfast, let the dogs out, feed the dogs, let the dogs in, unload the dishwasher, clean as much as I can in between letting the dang dogs in and out and running to the potty with E every 10 minutes because she thinks she has to potty; in the meantime Tipsy has jumped on the table and eaten our breakfast so I have to put her outside and deal with Wookie crying for her while I make 2nd breakfast. And that's how life is before 9am for me.
I've found myself trying to get validation from Joe by texting him what I've done throughout the day. It makes me feel better but just gets on his nerves that I'm texting all the time and he's trying to work. Sometimes I consider making a list of what I do - or maybe a timesheet so he sees how my days fill up.
And I love my life! Some days are harder than others - but since "retiring" I haven't missed working one single day. When I think back to the way life use to be I don't know how Joe and I did it. Everyday after work I ran little errands - sometimes Joe did too. Then Saturdays we would get up and run errands together with E until early afternoon. Then we'd relax and Sunday we'd clean, do home improvements and get life in order for the next week. It left us with very little quality time with each other.
Now that I'm staying at home - it's twice the work because I don't have Joe helping me with errands, finances, or managing the house. I handle all that stuff now and it can really suck up the hours of a day. Most days a week I look at the clock and think "How is it noon already?! I haven't gotten anything done", yet I haven't sat down since I woke up. It can get ridiculous. But when Joe comes home from work now, it's all about family and we play and hang out together and the quality of our life is just fantastic.
Maybe the validation I'm seeking could be monetary. I think I read once that for the amount of work a House Manager does, she/he (I'm not being sexist) should get paid like $75K a year. HAH! I wish. Although again, I can't complain because I get to watch Evelyn grow up every day and do crafts and blog and chat with friends; which I couldn't have done if we still lived in Dallas.
So I ask you, my public, for help with what my title should be. I'm looking for something that is all encompassing of what I do. Something I can put on my contact cards to hand out to people. Here's what I'm thinking so far:
Executive Director of the "E" Household Operations and Child & Pet Rearing
- Accomplished Multi-tasker
- Bilingual in Spanish and Baby
- World Class Chef
- Cleaning Services Available
- Blogs during free time
Earrings giveaway (enter here) ends tomorrow (Thursday) at midnight. Be sure to enter!
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